A Matter of Trust — in Hockey, in Life

Man, if this topic doesn’t usually cause me to pull my hair out, nothing does.

Before I get deeper into this, however, I probably ought to begin by saying that I don’t just trust everyone — or at least not right off the bat.  Hey, just because you hang a shingle out and claim to be an auto mechanic, it doesn’t mean you really know your stuff.  And just gaining a degree in something or other doesn’t mean you’re necessarily a top butcher or baker or candlestick maker.

Nor does a sheepskin mean you’re a world class doctor.  Case in point…  Many years ago, my late dad had been hospitalized for a bleeding ulcer.  Thank God he questioned the nurse who was about to relieve his pain with a couple of aspirin (which had been recommended by his doctor).  Geeeeeeeze…  Anyone knows that aspirin acts as an anticoagulant.  My point:  There’s nothing wrong with questioning anyone, doctors included.

On the other hand, I had to be super trusting the day my mechanic asked me if he could cut my Cadillac’s tailpipe in half.  Whaaaaa?  Ya, the guy was trying to troubleshoot a really mysterious lack of power in my car’s engine, and he had a hunch he knew what the problem was.  Why did I give the guy a go-ahead on cutting that pipe?  Well, he had worked for years in NASCAR pits, he was famous in the local area for solving problems others couldn’t, and he had worked wonders for me over many, many years.  So, although I cringed a bit at the thought of him hacking my car’s tailpipe in half, I trusted that guy to the max.  And, guess what…  As he explained to me later — after he’d looked inside the pipe, the Caddies of that era came with double lined exhausts, and sometimes the inside pipe would shrink and choke-off the flow of air.  Unbelievable!  Yes, I’d trusted that guy, mainly because he had a reputation for knowing things other so-called mechanics hadn’t a clue about.  And, in the end he saved me countless dollars, because any mere mortal would have replaced a kzillion other expensive auto parts before arriving at the real remedy.

Okay, so I’ve come to appreciate a wide range of folks over recent years…  Roland Lacey and Michael Mahony are two guys I scramble to call or email when I have a serious Internet problem.   I don’t let just anyone contribute to my CoachChic.com hockey site, so you can be sure I totally trust the likes of Bruce Turpin, Shaun Goodsell, Maryse Senecal, Scott Umberger and a host of others.  Do I trust those folks for no reason?  Absolutely not.  Actually, a lot like my old mechanic, I found their credentials interesting, but I was more convinced by their track records, or the quality of their work.  Have we had some healthy philosophical arguments?  Ya, I’d like to think so.  And, I’d also like to think that they’ve trusted my area of expertise when their specialties collided with mine.

If there’s one theme to this point, it’s probably that we all have to trust someone at sometime.  Yet, I’ve also suggested that it shouldn’t be a blind trust.  No, not at all.   And that brings me to a number of experiences of late…

Over the past week, a pretty high level coach from the United Kingdom has contacted me for advice.  Oh, there’s no problem with our relationship, but he’s having his share of problems swaying a few of his elite level hockey players.  As he explains it, his team is moving from the B Pool to the A Pool (a much tougher level), and his players know they have some challenges ahead — mainly in the areas of skating and shooting.  I thought it good that they knew they might be lacking, but then I found it puzzling that they wrestled with some pretty basic advice.  For example — and a lot like young kids I so often deal with here in the states, they resisted shifting to more flexible hockey stick shafts.  Ugh — because, if they’d just trust me and their coach, they’d likely instantly add velocity to all of their shots.  Yes, I said instantly.  Oh, I sense that their coach and I will win in the end — as will those players, but they are seemingly going to wrestle for awhile until our point finally gets across.

I hate to say it but, there’s a huge difference in the amount of trust shown by the parents on my two teams.  God bless most of the parents on my youngest team, because they are basically new to the game of hockey, and they’re super-willing to heed any advice given them.   Consequently, their kids gain almost immediately.  On the other hand, my older team’s parents probably have just enough hockey knowledge to give an old coach (more) gray hairs — or, should I say, their experiences to this point seem to stall their kids’ progress just as might be happening to those few elite level UK players.

Actually, one of my long-time messages for hockey parents is to put more stock in their kids’ practices than games.  As I like to say it, “The games are merely weekly quizzes, telling the players and coaches how they’re progressing at the moment.”  Said yet another way…  A high school coach isn’t going to care a bit about how many goals a kid previously scored, or his or her team’s won/loss record.  No, the coach is going to care far more about the things learned in countless practices over the years, and whether a given youngster can really play the game.

Then, for an example that might make me either laugh or cry…  A number of years ago I had a very skilled young 6th grader join my junior high school team.   Actually, I could see from the start that he was pretty headsy, and that he could think the game far better than a lot of my older kids.  (This wasn’t all that unusual, since he fit in the mold of a lot of “second sons” I’ve coached through the years.)  In no time at all, that little rascal was able to jump into our powerplay unit — with 7th and 8th graders, and there were times when I felt he was capable of actually running the show out there.  If there was a problem, the boy’s mom went from just trusting her son’s development to me to ultimately questioning my choice of forechecks and other such things.  So, while I thought the boy was initially on track to be a local high school star (and maybe go further), the mom ultimately moved him to a different team that practiced and played at a level far below ours.  No longer would the boy be challenged with wild off- and on-ice drills or relatively high level X’s and O’s, but at least the mom could have her say on most hockey issues.

Considering the three above hockey examples, I’m not suggesting that players or parents have to trust every coach, and they don’t even have to trust yours truly.  What they really need to do, however, is find someone they do trust, and ultimately follow his or her advice pretty close to the letter.  As I suggested above, those elite level UK players are probably going to eventually follow their coach’s suggestions; it’s probably more a matter of how much time will be lost until they’re able to take advantage of some sound advice.   The same might be said for those parents who put games ahead of practices.  As for the little guy described in the last paragraph, I’ll be watching the local high school hockey write-ups over coming years, just to see if his mom has been able to coach him well enough to star as he should.

The main theme here, however, has to do with whom you really do trust.  As I suggested earlier, anyone can hang out a mechanic’s or cake decorator’s or hockey coach’s shingle.  It’s also likely that medical and law schools can churn out as many extremely talented pros as not so trustworthy ones.   So, while education surely matters, a track record probably matters a whole lot more.

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